Tuesday 23rd December 1834
Ann Walker’s Entry
Anne Lister’s Entry
Trees that were planted evening before Tops cut off, & one or two slit down the stems.
Courtesy of West Yorkshire Archive Service, Calderdale WYC:1525/7/1/5/1/0035
[up at] 9 20/..
[to bed at] 1 5/..
(go by the Lawton clocks) breakfast at 10 20/.. – then sat talking till 12 – from 12 to 2 walked (about 2 miles) to see a poor man (James Shaw) confined to his bed these 30 weeks from having fallen into a hot salt pan – Luncheon with Mr. Lawton in his room (I not eating) then sat talking in Mariana’s sitting room – out at 4, for 40 minutes – walked to the Lodge to see Mrs. Grantham, and a couple of neat new cottages near the Lodge and close to the Canal – then sat talking in my dressing room till 5 40/.. – dressed – dinner at 6 10/.. – coffee – tea –read a little of the Globe of today – came upstairs at 10 1/2 and Mariana sat with me 1/2 hour – sealed and gave her my letter written last night to Adney (Shibden) to be put into the post before 9.a.m. tomorrow – annoyed this morning to find I was too late for today’s post – the letters must be there at 9, and the mail goes at 10 – told π [Mariana] she had never come to me to see if I was up this morning she said she would but thought I should not like it I was rather attendrie this morning particularly after our walk she told Mr Crewe had been with her at Scarbro’ glad I had not heard of it in York and that she herself was first to tell me of it he had said he hoped to her happy with the friend she liked best staying with her at Warmingham meaning to have me with them I asked if she did not think this speech plain enough she said it had not struck her much but at last owned it was pretty plain tho’ she still says she never was in love with him and wonders if she ever shall be I calmly said oh yes all that would come she told me Mr. C- [Crewe] was very calm on that subject in telling her a story of a chere amie of Brooke Greville’s said but he and his friend could very well do without those domestic comforts she still persists that all her love is for me I led the conversation to A- [Adney] said I really liked was more than comfortable and that whatever might be said money had nothing to do with it π [Mariana] asked if it was true that she has three thousand a year I said no but our fortunes would be about equal and that we should have five thousands a year said I had thought of her the first thing after π’s [Mariana’s] break off I was thankful things were as they were for I was determined to have one and certainly could not have done better Charlotte said A- [Adney] was not ladylike and she and Mrs. Milne thought she would not be flattered if she was her successor but that I could not do without money π [Mariana] took all well said she thought I had done right and perhaps she herself was the cause of it they wondered – Mr. C- [Crewe] does not like Mrs. Milne she behaved sarcastically and he expected better things after all the trouble he had taken about Hamlyn he wished π [Mariana] to get her uncle and Lou to go to Geneva next summer π [Mariana] to join them and then he his two boys would join them all at Geneva and make a tour for with her uncle there could be nothing wron[g] I made no remark but this explained the passage she read from Lou’s letter that came today that with a little persuasion she thought her uncle might be got to go to Geneva tho’ she had preferred Scotland on account of not leaving her mother so far this proves π [Mariana] had thought of the plan and seriously too perhaps she wished to sound me what will the world say? she protests she feels towards only as a brother well nous verrons I told her that but for him I might have acted differently said I read her last letter to A- [Adney] but she did not understand it I had told all that was necessary but not quite all that is not of our connection nor did any know of this or ever would this seemed to satisfy her – said I was not quite satisfied with her brother’s conduct about Clifton to his mother in paying with so much difficulty nor with his management of his wife and that he had latterly left A- [Adney] ten days unvisited by him but this not to be named any more than the brandy and water drunk by Miss Bagshaw at Mrs. Bewley’s – π [Mariana] has seemed low today at intervals it seems she does not now like Mrs. Wilbraham who has interfered with the friendly society etc. Mr. C- [Crewe] says how worldly they all are and he cannot endure them somehow I do not like this π [Mariana] says Mr. C- [Crewe] was never conscious of his feelings towards till δ’s [Charles’s] conduct to him at Mr. Wood’s in ___ 1831 I cannot quite understand π [Mariana] she shews me she is still in love with me I might have her as heretofore without much difficulty she says she is glad to see me but talks of the difference there is when my interest is hung on another peg I asked tonight if I was not as much attached and as affectionate as she wished me to be she made no answer I pressed her to say yes and she merely replied ‘yes you are very affectionate’ – she has kissed me as warmly as she dared venture and given me licence enough if I chose to take it but in answer ‘do you love me’ my yes i[n]deed I do bespoke nothing beyond friendship the fact is I am really indifferent to her but she would lead me astray if she could – she will send a present to A- [Adney] sorry I had proposed it as it was her own intention δ [Charles] and I very good friends But no more – very fine frosty day – no use to look at my thermometer – my dressing room having a good fire in it – wrote all the above of today from 11 1/2 to 12 1/2 tonight –
Courtesy of West Yorkshire Archive Service, Calderdale SH:7/ML/E/17/0127 & SH:7/ML/E/17/0128
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